Saturday, January 14, 2006

Some stuff from the past

5 Oct 2004

This house is like me.
Not very pretty, but passable and with the potential to clean up nicely.
Neglected over the years with just enough maintenance to keep her going, usually done in chaos management mode.
Absentmindedly loved by all but one, who loves her fiercely and protectively.
Tough and resilient, often abused, she stands now, wounded almost mortally, BUT she still stands.
Now, having gotten the attention of all who loved her in the most haphazard manner, she wants to be rebuilt with new awareness, new respect. Her always present, never acknowledged dignity will reign and be noted by all who see her.
She will never again tolerate being ignored, neglected, and especially, abused.

Date unknown

I now know, without a doubt, how it is some people end up in life without a mate or other family member in their lives, but with a house inhabited by 30 cats. Something that purrs in pleasure instantly upon being touched can do nothing but make you feel as though you have a reason to be in the world.

Jan 13 2005

Everything I want?
Oh my.
You do realize, don't you, that this contradicts the world renowned philosopher, Mick Jagger?
Maybe my list should start with that I want that my wants don't hurt me. "History repeats itself" is a phrase that puts fear in my soul.
An ace at troubleshooting the problem when it has reared its ugly head in my life, foresight is not a club I often find in my bag.
Having said all that, my priorities have recently shifted to another solar system.
Sitting in a clean, comfortable recliner with my feet up, watching tv with a warm purring cat in my lap, would now make me feel rich.
Sitting in my house, listening to rain hit the roof, and knowing that unless it rains for 40 days and nights, it most likely will not come inside, makes me feel rich.
Walking into a patients room for the second night, having them look up and see their face brighten as they say " Oh, there you are!" has always, and will always make me feel rich.
Knowing that a large portion of my son's waking moments are taken hostage by my needs and situation, both makes me ashamed and feel rich. It is what I taught him.
What do I want?
More of what truly makes me feel rich.


May the fretful pass quickly and the joyous slow to a snail's crawl.

(Since this was written, my riches have grown exponentially)

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