Greybeard's pain
Just finished reading his lastest post "Monsoon Season In Viet Nam". Made me wish I could hold him for awhile and have the right words to say that would put this pain where it belongs. I can't and don't. The only people who might are people who have "been there and done that" and burned the t-shirt when they were done.
I know this man, not as well as some, and better than quite a few. There is a breakthrough occuring here for him to post this, and I hope it is a healing one. For many years, his family didn't hear many of these stories. We heard this one, because it was a name we were familiar with. But pain prevented him from relating the stories that haunted his sleep.
I am a nurse, have been for over 20 years. And I firmly believe that there are worse things than dying. While Greybeard's pain may not quite fit into this catagory, what causes him pain is his imagination of this CHILD'S last moments. And those moments DO fit in this category. Dying was the easy part. And his Mother's pain just very well MAY fit into this category.
So, I ask that you not only pray for those who are out there now, fighting for us, I ask you to pray for those who did in the past and are carrying many hidden scars from it. Especially those who had the fortitude to come back from hell and remain, (or in some cases, become) valuable assets in our lives. Have compassion for those who didn't, we have no way to comprehend their psychic burdens.
I have been caring, for the past 10-15 years, for guys who come in with hugely swollen stomaches, orange/copper skin, orangey/tea colored urine and all we can do for them is get the ammonia levels in their systems down low enough to keep them from seeing spiders on the walls. They didn't have to be drunks for the amount of alcohol that they drink to exacerbate the damage done by agent orange to their livers. And in some cases, they didn't drink at all, it happened anyway. Spiders may very well be the most benign thing they see.....
I see guys who come up to you and the first thing they tell you is that they have PTSD, just before they ask for a cigarette, or some spare change. I struggle with my judgement system just like any other human when this happens. But, now, I have been through something in my life that has made me go "Oh!" when I think about what trauma and stress does to people. I still don't have the right or the wherewithall to say I understand, I never will. But, I now know for certain that if I expect compassion and understanding, I have to give it. And I will pray for them just as hard as I do the ones who are currently creating monsters and nightmares and demons they will carry for the rest of their lives......if they are lucky.....or not.
I know this man, not as well as some, and better than quite a few. There is a breakthrough occuring here for him to post this, and I hope it is a healing one. For many years, his family didn't hear many of these stories. We heard this one, because it was a name we were familiar with. But pain prevented him from relating the stories that haunted his sleep.
I am a nurse, have been for over 20 years. And I firmly believe that there are worse things than dying. While Greybeard's pain may not quite fit into this catagory, what causes him pain is his imagination of this CHILD'S last moments. And those moments DO fit in this category. Dying was the easy part. And his Mother's pain just very well MAY fit into this category.
So, I ask that you not only pray for those who are out there now, fighting for us, I ask you to pray for those who did in the past and are carrying many hidden scars from it. Especially those who had the fortitude to come back from hell and remain, (or in some cases, become) valuable assets in our lives. Have compassion for those who didn't, we have no way to comprehend their psychic burdens.
I have been caring, for the past 10-15 years, for guys who come in with hugely swollen stomaches, orange/copper skin, orangey/tea colored urine and all we can do for them is get the ammonia levels in their systems down low enough to keep them from seeing spiders on the walls. They didn't have to be drunks for the amount of alcohol that they drink to exacerbate the damage done by agent orange to their livers. And in some cases, they didn't drink at all, it happened anyway. Spiders may very well be the most benign thing they see.....
I see guys who come up to you and the first thing they tell you is that they have PTSD, just before they ask for a cigarette, or some spare change. I struggle with my judgement system just like any other human when this happens. But, now, I have been through something in my life that has made me go "Oh!" when I think about what trauma and stress does to people. I still don't have the right or the wherewithall to say I understand, I never will. But, I now know for certain that if I expect compassion and understanding, I have to give it. And I will pray for them just as hard as I do the ones who are currently creating monsters and nightmares and demons they will carry for the rest of their lives......if they are lucky.....or not.
posted by Mommanurse at 7:46 AM
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