Tis the season

In the midst of all the stress, celebration, and hubbub of this season, memories are thick in the air. Songs, smells, traditions observed give us visuals of past experiences that have embedded themselves in our psyche. Hopefully, we are kinder, more tolerant, more forgiving and willing to put away, for the time being, our hurts, gripes and complaints so that future memories are not tainted by them.
Memories can be any degree of good or bad, have had any degree of impact on who we become at a later date, and quite often without the knowledge of all involved. Perception is the key. We may all speak English, Spanish, Farsi, how many thousands of different languages and dialects, but even tho we speak the same basic language of the person we are interacting with, the message spoken can be completely different from the one hearing it. So many times, what is said colors what we perceive that person to be, believe, and practice, when all we should put faith in are the actions we see that person perform.
The season also sees many reconnections of relationships from the past, our memories of the season make us remember people we have not interacted with in a long time. Sometimes years have gone by, and we don't know where they are, if they are married, have children, what they have grown up to be. In my case, it wasn't the season that made me remember the person, he popped into my head periodically over the years. It may have been the season that made me do something about it, tho.
Fortunately, in this day and age, we don't have to hire a detective to find people for us most of the time. If we are computer savvy, we can Google and find the path to reconnection. Or the white pages/yellow pages of an area we think they may be in. It doesn't always work, but for me it was google, two more clicks, and a snail mail letter to find out if it was really him. I didn't have much doubt, because the last name wasn't one you find in every town, or even many in a big town. I sent my e-mail address, and to my unending delight, got an e-mail within a few days with other names that brought up even more memories. Sangria in a galvanized tub, recipe of which was the imagination of probably at least five people, with no regard to Spanish traditional formulation. Fun day that day, for some, not so good the next day. Trips to the Spanish Riviera, with many more of us in the car than was legal, or safe, sharing expenses to escape the regimentation of being in the Navy for a weekend. Keeping secrets that might have had lifelong impacts had the Chiefs found out.
I worked with this guy for a long time at a remote receiver site, just the two of us. We got close, but not too close, it wasn't that kind of connection. A relief for us both, I'm sure. He had to carry me, I really was in the dark about the intricacies of my job. In the Navy's dubious wisdom, they had put me in a job I didn't have the prerequisites for, and they only trained me enough to make me dangerous.He never let me know that he knew I didn't have a clue, never showed any frustration at being the one to do most of the work. Maybe I was able to fake doing enough that it didn't bother him. I don't know, and not sure I ever want to. The equipment we worked on was OLD even then, had grunches of vacuum tubes, so sometimes you could fix it by smacking the side of the case. I was the smacker, he was the technician. And we visited with each other all day. Had fun conversations, serious conversations, and fixed our worlds the way 20 somethings do. Told enough about our significant others to sometimes make us want to "fix" things, I'm sure, but never got so involved it was a problem. It was a connection, and it was a good one. He was okay with who I was, I was okay with who he was. Oh, he made me laugh.
He moved on, I moved on. When I got the e-mail, I was pleased that he reported what sounded like a reasonably content life, not so content that it was not believable, but overall, a pretty good place to be. It was pretty much what I had hoped and expected. I had been around during one of the more trying times of his life, the death of his Father, with him thousands of miles away, his Father still a young man, and his death totally unexpected. He came back, confided in me some of his feelings that I don't think he would have been comfortable telling just anyone. I have since had that experience, not at his young age, and not unexpected, but I have a new respect and understanding of some of his feelings. Thought of him when something very specific happened after the death of my father.
Just having the relationship I had with him made me feel good about myself in ways that I didn't in other areas of my life. I cherish people who allow me that safe place to be, no matter how big it is.
So, finding him is one of my Christmas presents to me this year, and if we don't do anything but send cards from now on at this time of the year, I'm glad I took the time to find out he's alive and well and out there for me to "touch" now and again.
If you have been thinking of somebody but haven't put the effort to find them, give it a shot, especially if there is no reason to think the experience won't be a good one. Give yourself that present this year.
And by the way, Dave.........E.G. Marshall!