Tis the season

In the midst of all the stress, celebration, and hubbub of this season, memories are thick in the air. Songs, smells, traditions observed give us visuals of past experiences that have embedded themselves in our psyche. Hopefully, we are kinder, more tolerant, more forgiving and willing to put away, for the time being, our hurts, gripes and complaints so that future memories are not tainted by them.
Memories can be any degree of good or bad, have had any degree of impact on who we become at a later date, and quite often without the knowledge of all involved. Perception is the key. We may all speak English, Spanish, Farsi, how many thousands of different languages and dialects, but even tho we speak the same basic language of the person we are interacting with, the message spoken can be completely different from the one hearing it. So many times, what is said colors what we perceive that person to be, believe, and practice, when all we should put faith in are the actions we see that person perform.
The season also sees many reconnections of relationships from the past, our memories of the season make us remember people we have not interacted with in a long time. Sometimes years have gone by, and we don't know where they are, if they are married, have children, what they have grown up to be. In my case, it wasn't the season that made me remember the person, he popped into my head periodically over the years. It may have been the season that made me do something about it, tho.
Fortunately, in this day and age, we don't have to hire a detective to find people for us most of the time. If we are computer savvy, we can Google and find the path to reconnection. Or the white pages/yellow pages of an area we think they may be in. It doesn't always work, but for me it was google, two more clicks, and a snail mail letter to find out if it was really him. I didn't have much doubt, because the last name wasn't one you find in every town, or even many in a big town. I sent my e-mail address, and to my unending delight, got an e-mail within a few days with other names that brought up even more memories. Sangria in a galvanized tub, recipe of which was the imagination of probably at least five people, with no regard to Spanish traditional formulation. Fun day that day, for some, not so good the next day. Trips to the Spanish Riviera, with many more of us in the car than was legal, or safe, sharing expenses to escape the regimentation of being in the Navy for a weekend. Keeping secrets that might have had lifelong impacts had the Chiefs found out.
I worked with this guy for a long time at a remote receiver site, just the two of us. We got close, but not too close, it wasn't that kind of connection. A relief for us both, I'm sure. He had to carry me, I really was in the dark about the intricacies of my job. In the Navy's dubious wisdom, they had put me in a job I didn't have the prerequisites for, and they only trained me enough to make me dangerous.He never let me know that he knew I didn't have a clue, never showed any frustration at being the one to do most of the work. Maybe I was able to fake doing enough that it didn't bother him. I don't know, and not sure I ever want to. The equipment we worked on was OLD even then, had grunches of vacuum tubes, so sometimes you could fix it by smacking the side of the case. I was the smacker, he was the technician. And we visited with each other all day. Had fun conversations, serious conversations, and fixed our worlds the way 20 somethings do. Told enough about our significant others to sometimes make us want to "fix" things, I'm sure, but never got so involved it was a problem. It was a connection, and it was a good one. He was okay with who I was, I was okay with who he was. Oh, he made me laugh.
He moved on, I moved on. When I got the e-mail, I was pleased that he reported what sounded like a reasonably content life, not so content that it was not believable, but overall, a pretty good place to be. It was pretty much what I had hoped and expected. I had been around during one of the more trying times of his life, the death of his Father, with him thousands of miles away, his Father still a young man, and his death totally unexpected. He came back, confided in me some of his feelings that I don't think he would have been comfortable telling just anyone. I have since had that experience, not at his young age, and not unexpected, but I have a new respect and understanding of some of his feelings. Thought of him when something very specific happened after the death of my father.
Just having the relationship I had with him made me feel good about myself in ways that I didn't in other areas of my life. I cherish people who allow me that safe place to be, no matter how big it is.
So, finding him is one of my Christmas presents to me this year, and if we don't do anything but send cards from now on at this time of the year, I'm glad I took the time to find out he's alive and well and out there for me to "touch" now and again.
If you have been thinking of somebody but haven't put the effort to find them, give it a shot, especially if there is no reason to think the experience won't be a good one. Give yourself that present this year.
And by the way, Dave.........E.G. Marshall!

You Gotta Be Kidding.....

'Tis the season. Our patients are more depressed, crazier, short tempered, noncompliant and just generally bigger pains in the butts than usual. So am I, so I'm going to vent. Maybe it will help. Ready? One, two, three, GO!

NO! I'm not going to call the doctor at 3 am to get you an order for a laxative. I don't care right this second that you haven't pooped in 2 days. You'll live until 0700!

Don't bother showing me what you have every time I come into the room. I have been doing this for over 20 years, how special do you think I would think yours is? Is it lime green? Can it sing the national anthem while smoking 5 cigars? Then forget it, I'm not interested!!

You will NOT starve to death! You have been here 4 hours, you weigh 325 pounds, you will survive until breakfast. No I don't have any cookies.

Listing your allergies as Darvocet, Talwin, Toradol, Ultram is a dead givaway. I don't care that they gave you Dilaudid in the ER, that was before they looked at your tox screen and saw your two and a half foot tall stack of old charts. Besides, it was ordered in the ER, it's not ordered here! You're gonna leave? Fine. Don't let the door hit you in the butt . First , sign this AMA sheet for me.

Where were the 15 of you when Granny was lying in her own excrement for two days in the floor? Don't threaten me with a lawsuit if I don't give you her medical info! Want me to spell my name for you? And I don't care if you know Frank Lewis personally! (Guess who Frank Lewis is!)

Oh, YOU are a lawyer? And just how does that apply to my treating your pancreatitis?

Your Adrenal glands hurt? Okay, I'll get right on that.

If you "don't want to be a bother", why have you hit the call bell 8 times in the last hour for no good reason?

The reason I haven't gotten your juice to you within the last 5 minutes is because there is a patient down the hall who is trying to stop breathing. You don't care? Okay, let's see what you think of the rest of your care while you are in the hospital!

Your sister won't tell you anything about Mom's condition? Maybe that's because the last time you visited Mom, you stole her jewelry and pawned it to buy crack! Yeah, go ahead and hit me, there are 6 very large security guards who will be glad to keep track of you for me while we call the cops. No, I can't tell you what you sister won't, there are laws against it.

I just walked in the room for the very first time to meet you, why are you yelling at me?

Do you hawk your loogies on the floor at home?

For the seventh time, you are having a test in the morning that you have to have on an empty stomache, so I can't give you anything to eat and drink after midnight. You don't feel good? You want us to help you feel better? Then let us run these tests to find out what the problem is....NO, I CAN'T GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO DRINK!

Excuse me, Doctor, but did talking to me like that help? We have a hospital policy about calling critical lab values. Ok, I'll be glad to wait and call you back when they code!

( you know the difference between a surgeon and God, don't you? God doesn't think he's a surgeon!)

Dr. X ordered that. Ok, I will change it. No, I won't tell Dr. X......that is your job. He is the attending.....yes, I know he shouldn't have consulted you just to change all your orders.....well, I don't know if he is an idiot or not.....HEY!! HOW ABOUT YOU TALKING TO HIM, I'M JUST A LOWLY NURSE HERE! THAT'S WHY YOU GET THE BIG BUCKS!

(And along the same lines....)
No, I don't know why the ultrasound wasn't done today. I got here three hours after that department closed. No, I don't know why the dayshift nurse didn't call you the lab values you asked for, I'm calling them NOW because I saw something that needed to be addressed.Yes, I will be glad to pass that on to the supervisor.

(And...) I'm calling you for pain medicine at 10 oclock at night because the patient asked for it. No, they didn't complain of pain at 8pm, if you would like to have had this handled before 10, maybe you could have written us an order to keep this from happening?

(And this is a true story)....Oh, you run between 0700 and 0800, and are not to be disturbed, ok, I will try to get through to your patient who has just been put on the ventilator to let them know that when you are done with your morning run, you will come see about her.

Laundry? We have 7 patients, 5 of which who are pooping the bed every hour, may I have a wash cloth or two? Well, I expect they used them all during the day. Do we have a quota?

No, you can't have another snack, your blood sugar is 380. Who's Churches Chicken boxes are those?

There is no smoking in the hospital! You weren't smoking? Then what is the cloud coming out of your bathroom?

You haven't had a drink for a couple of days? WOW! Then you must have really been drunk then, to have the smell oozing from your pores still! GOOD JOB!

These next 2 set off alarms in my head that I have learned to listen to.......

You "just don't feel good"? Okay....well....don't pay any attention to the crash cart I have just put outside your door.

You are " just SO tired"? Okay.....well....don't pay any attention to the crash cart I have just put outside your door.

No, I can't let you loose, you have pulled out 5 IV's tonight, and given yourself a prostatectomy by pulling out your foley. Your family won't stay with you, and your doctor won't order drugs to settle you down, you are just going to have to learn to like the blue bracelets I have put on you. Yes, they DO have to be tied to the bed.

Well, we had to replace his IV 5 times last night, he pulled out his foley twice with the balloon still inflated, that's why his urine is bloody, and you and your brothers and sisters all told us there was no one to come and sit with him. No, the doctor wouldn't order anything for him to help him sleep, because of his respiratory status, and that is why he has wrist restraints on.He kept pulling his oxygen off and turning blue. You are going to call your lawyer? Want me to get you a phone book? My name is spelled.....

There is not alot of exaggeration here, and of course much of this is only said in my head, while I am smiling at the patient/doctor/visitor, becasue none of them are worth losing my job over. I DO love my job. And sadly, while my job has alot of these examples every shift, it only takes one little old lady or little old man to reach out and pat my hand and say "You're a good nurse" to make it all worthwhile. The best of all is when you have been there the night before and you come back into the room the next day, they look up, smile and say, "Oh, THERE you are!" and an hour later they are sound asleep when they didn't sleep at all the night before.

We are NOT overpaid waitresses. We get sucked dry on a regular basis, and after a couple of days off, regroup to start again. I can't imagine doing anything else in my life.