Kooties!!!

We all have 'em. Some are more creepy crawly than others. Some are supposed to be there, some are not.
Right now, my Mom and I have the kind you are NOT supposed to have. The kind that make you cough and hack until your ribs and chest muscles hurt. Mom is in the hospital because of them. My little old grey haired lady tends to roll right on into pneumonia every time she gets these kinds of kooties, and could very easily crack a rib or two with her coughing spells. Viscious cycle.....
It amazes me how many people I talk to in the south give me the blank stare when I mention kooties. I haven't yet made it a point to pay attention to whether they are native southerners or not, I just thought certain things were universal. Like poop, booboos, and giving babies raspberries on their tummies to make them giggle. Some people only know kooties as that game where you put bug parts together until you have a complete bug. That game and Mr. Potato Head always seemed so pointless to me, what do you win? Maybe no one ever told me the right way to play them, or I just wasn't listening.
Kooties were something the opposite sex had until you began to notice that maybe they weren't so bad after all, and sometimes for awhile after, but only in public. In private, you were composing little notes that said " if you like me, check yes " and hoping like crazy you didn't find them showing the note to all their friends and laughing.
Family members and boyfriends have the same kind of kooties, that's why it's okay to drink from the same coke can. Babies kooties are harmless to everybody, so wet baby kisses are okay. Same thing with puppies.
Obviously tho, not all kooties are harmless, and whoever it was that gave these nasty ones to Mom and me , "GEE,THANKS ALOT!!!"
Please, before you go to work sick, consider the ramifications. You honestly could be killing somebody's little grey haired lady. Not mine, this time, Thank God, but no thanks to you, whoever you might be.
WASH YOUR HANDS often, cough into your sleeve or a tissue, then WASH YOUR HANDS. DON'T cough into the phone for the next person to breath in, and WASH YOUR HANDS before you push buttons. When you are done WASHING YOUR HANDS, turn the faucet off with a paper towel, and open the door handle with the paper towel as well. If you have a cold and have not been able to WASH YOUR HANDS, or notice someone who is coughing and hacking into their hands, then offering to shake your, politely decline, and cite the cold as your reason why. You teach people how to treat you. Teach other people by example. When in a public restroom, use your towel to provide the next person with a towel, and say , "so you don't dirty your hands on the faucet again." They might look at you oddly, but they will usually thank you. If they don't, screw 'em!